Day 2 - Weight

so yesterday was a very very reflective day. I spent a lot of time trying to live in the past but find some source of inspiration based on what I've done before that worked out successfully.

i've got a very long way to go but what I really need is that spark that spark to get me going that sparked the keeps things exciting the beginning of people talking about my progress and I think I found it.

less than 10 pounds. I may have dropped a few more than that but really that's all it took was a 10 pound weight loss for me to take some pictures and rejoice and people notice of my clothes fit better. and because of gained so much weight over the last year when I get back down to this weight 254 pounds people are going to absolutely freak out.

today I need to kickstart it was some low carb.

6:37 am  - I really feel like I am going blind.  Need to get my eyesight back


8:38am -    Blindness, Kidney damage, Stroke, Heart Attack, Impotence, Lose of Limbs

Not sure why those things are not as motivating to me as they should be.  I do look forward to rectifying them

So one of the big changes I need to make is learning how to stay in control when having "fun."  Wife just said we should do somehting fun this weekend and in my mind that always means

• Drinking
• Eating
• "Starting over Monday (the 1st, etc)

No carb means no carb 

5:51pm - Yes to bad

Carl's Jr dinner w/soda😁
Choices

7:51pm - are used to lay in bed and dream of being at the gym the next morning I was so focused

Day 1 - Ready (276)

The last 2 weeks have been wild.  They have contributed to this whirlwind of a year (it's only April!) but there have been elements of debauchery that are tought to get past.

Drinking, eating, drinking, eating....


But I'm ready.

I'm ready to get to where I haven't been able to go. The struggle has been real since 1995.  So many failures that what would it look like if I erased it all?   THIS YEAR!

Current:
Blood Sugar: 187
Waist: 50"
BF: 32.77%
Weight: 276lbs

Goals
Blood Sugar: 109
Waist: 32"
BF: 15%
Weight: 185lbs


7:09am -  I want people to freak out when they see me.  That feeling where everyone is commenting so you know just KNOW other people are going to chime in at any moment

8:21am -  So interesting.  I'm very overweight, damaged nerves and all of that but yet I am very "lively" down there.  Morning woods on the regular.  So that is very very encouraging but would love to know why.  Eliminating everything else...it has to be STRESS related.  It is minimal in my life at the moment (knock on wood)

9:11am -  Get back to the old gym rate exercises -  lungers, turkish getups, kettle betl, jump rope, jumping jacks, etc

 Tabata


10:13am -  I need to actually track and review my nutrition progress




11:26am  - all those fat jokes, boyeeee.  Oh man, it's on.   I can feel my stomach hanging over the belt, it really is unhealthy and grotesque.  I am damn near blind from the diabetes

11:54am -  Learn to eat right and log it all -  no starting over until the next clean day - that's insane!


Food Journal



12:30pm  -  flashback!  Skinny as shit but still fat! #perspective

12:56pm - wow

109 weeks ago

12/18/13